NFL week six is in the books. We’ve officially reached the point where teams are who we thought they were – or are.

So what do you say…let’s say we get this party started right…Raider-style.

Oakland Raiders v. Philadelphia Eagles

“We went out and threw a fight on somebody and said, ‘Enough. Let’s play,’” said Raider coach Tom Cable after the game. And if you’re headed into a fight, who better to lead you than Tom Cable? Allegedly. JaMarcus Russell set season highs for completions (17) and passing yards (224) as the Raiders somehow defeated the mighty McNabb’s 13-9. Reverting back to form of year’s past, Philadelphia ran the ball just 14 times. Eagles coach Andy Reid has an extra day this week to let his visible disgust subdue. Fortunately for Eagles fans, next stop is the nation’s capital.

Washington Redskins v. Kansas City Chiefs

In what may best be described as an “offensive pillow-fight,” the Chiefs recorded their first win of the season, beating a pathetic Redskins team 14-6. Don’t let the score fool you – there were no touchdowns in this one. Washington converted just 2-14 third down conversions and held the ball for 23 minutes. Jason Campbell was benched in the second half. Jim Zorn was stripped of his play-calling duties. And Dan Snyder paid one million dollars for an up-and-coming hot dog vendor. I’ll let you decide which of those are true and which is false. Congratulations, Ryan Succop. The Chiefs kicker – and NFL Draft 2009 “Mr. Irrelevant” – went 4/4 and was apparently the only player who didn’t “Suck-op.”

Tennessee Titans v. New England Patriots

Speaking of sucking…have you seen the Titans? I know they’ve been hit hard by injuries…but 59-0? They gave up five touchdowns…in the SECOND QUARTER! Jeff Fisher should have walked off the field at halftime and never come back: “Okay guys…I’ve had enough. But keep at it…see you tomorrow.” Alas, he stayed – long enough to watch Brian Hoyer sneak in for the Patriots eighth touchdown of the day. Warren Moon – at the ripe old age of 52 – would have looked better in those Oiler jerseys then the Kerry Collins/Vince Young duo. Two completions…negative seven yards. That’s not a misprint. Oh…and Tom Brady threw for 380 yards and six touchdowns.

Houston Texans v. Cincinnati Bengals

Trivia time: Who leads the NFL in passing touchdowns?

It’s not Drew Brees. And it ain’t Peyton Manning. The answer is Matt Schaub. The Texans rode Schaub’s arm and a stout defensive front to a 28-17 victory. After a run of exciting finishes, the Bengals and NFL rushing leader Cedric Benson (another great trivia question) were held to just 46 yards on the ground. Making matters worse, Cincinnati also lost NFL sack leader, Antwan Odom, (yet another amazing trivia question) for the season. Time will tell if the Bengals can regroup and challenge for the division – or if it’s time to kiss the baby.

New York Giants v. New Orleans Saints

From a baby to a grown man – Eli Manning spent many a football Sunday at the Superdome – but never as a player. And he might want to keep it that way. In Manning’s hometown return, the other quarterback, Drew Brees, spoiled the party. Brees (369 yards and four touchdowns) and the Saints offense scored at will against what many considered the league’s no. 1 defense, winning 48-27. New York gave up 34 first-half points – matching the total they had given up in the first half of their first five games combined. The previously undefeated Giants benefited from a relatively soft schedule, and while they are still among the NFC’s upper echelon, don’t be surprised if they start to falter.

Minnesota Vikings v. Baltimore Ravens

Here’s your Brett Favre alert. The Vikings quarterback hit Sidney Rice on a 58-yard bomb on their final possession to set up Ryan Longwell‘s game-winning field goal. But don’t forget the Ravens came right back and positioned themselves for a 44-yard field goal – until Steven Hauschka missed it. Or the fact that they allowed Baltimore and Ray Rice to score 21 points in the fourth quarter, turning a blowout into a ballgame. The Vikings are 6-0. They’ve got the best rusher in the league, Adrian Peterson, and the best pass rusher in the league, Jared Allen, but they could very easily be 4-2. Looking forward to seeing how this – and by this, I mean Brett Favre – plays out.

Pittsburgh Steelers v. Cleveland Browns

When discussing the bottom-feeders of the NFL, let’s not sleep on the Cleveland Browns. Now 1-5, after a 27-14 defeat to the Steelers, the Browns remain incapable of doing anything right. Derek Anderson played like a Pro Bowler compared to last week, completing a whopping nine passes for 122 yards. He was just slightly overshadowed by Ben Roethlisberger’s 417 passing yards. I would like to personally apologize to Josh Cribbs. He deserves better. After returning a 98-yard kickoff to the house and rushing for 45 yards some team has to get him out of Cleveland – don’t they? And the Browns aren’t willing to pay the man! Pay the man his money! Unbelievable! I don’t know who I feel worse for – Cribbs or Cleveland fans?

Carolina Panthers v. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

In the latest installment of “games you shouldn’t subject yourself to” comes Carolina’s 28-21 victory against the still-winless Yuccaneers. They’re baaack! They even get to wear their retro orange jerseys this season. DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart combined for 362 yards rushing and three touchdowns, overcoming Jake Delhomme’s two interceptions and 65 yards through the air. There’s not much else to say about a game like this. It’s too bad somebody has to win.

St. Louis Rams v. Jacksonville Jaguars

Another winless team? Really? A week in which Maurice Jones-Drew publicly called out his coaching staff, the Jaguars rode their little bowling ball to a 23-20 overtime victory. Jones-Drew ran for 133 yards and three scores. Now, 0-6, the Rams have lost 16 straight games dating back to last season. And there really isn’t cause for hope. Fortunately, Sam Bradford is healthy and ready to turn one lucky team around…

Green Bay Packers v. Detroit Lions

How did the Packers manage two bye weeks in a row? Oh…right…they played the Lions. Take a bad team like Detroit, sit their best player, Calvin Johnson, and their starting quarterback, Matthew Stafford, and what do you have? A team incapable of scoring. Daunte Culpepper and Drew Stanton threw three more interceptions than touchdowns (zero) and Aaron Rodgers excelled at leading his team into the red zone – and letting Mason Crosby kick field goals – as the Packers won 26-0. In more cheerful news, Donald Driver passed Sterling Sharpe for first place on Green Bay’s all-time receptions list. And, no, Brett Favre did not come through the tunnel to carry him across the field.

Arizona Cardinals v. Seattle Seahawks

Matt Hasselbeck’s health was widely considered the Seahawks measuring stick for success. That is until Kurt Warner and the Cardinals debunked that theory. Warner threw for nearly 300 yards, tying Dan Marino’s record as the fastest to 30,000 career passing yards, and Arizona won 27-3. Adding injury to insult – Seattle lost Pro Bowl lineback Lofa Tatupu for the season. Adding insult to injury – it’s raining in Seattle right now.

Buffalo Bills v. New York Jets

Just when you thought we were done with terrible teams…”it” won! Buffalo allowed over 300 rushing yards and still managed a 16-13 victory in overtime. I’m assuming Mark Sanchez’s five interceptions didn’t help. Maybe it’s time to hold off on the photo shoots? Following a 3-0 start this season, Jets coach Rex Ryan finds his team at .500. Over/Under on swear word usage in the locker room this week? 362. Meanwhile, despite losing Trent Edwards, replacing him with Harvard great Ryan Fitzpatrick and Terrell Owens remaining as existent as Dick Jauron’s head coaching job after the season, the Bills are somehow two games out of first place.

Chicago Bears v. Atlanta Falcons

Sunday night featured two potential NFC sleepers. But penalties and turnovers doomed Chicago from the start – and ultimately, their final drive –in a 21-14 losing effort. Jay Cutler, who, at the moment, cannot be considered the best quarterback in his own trade, threw another red zone interception, Matt Forte fumbled on the goal line and the offense committed three penalties on the game’s final drive. Whether it’s been the porous offensive line or the adjustment to a new quarterback, Forte is in the midst of a sophomore slump of epic proportions. And who knows if he’ll ever climb out. On the subject of sophomores, Falcons quarterback Matt Ryan continues his impressive play and has his team just a game behind the marching Saints.

San Diego Chargers v. Denver Broncos

This was to be the game when the undefeated Broncos faced reality. In their previous meeting with San Diego, they were demoralized 52-21. They couldn’t win another big game – especially on the road. But the Broncos stomped all over those sentiments about as fast as you can say “Eddie Royal.” The second-year receiver returned a 93-yard kickoff and 71-yard punt return for scores. The 5’10 Royal pumped those legs so fast his Bronco throwback jersey was almost tolerable – almost. The Chargers’ Darren Sproles returned the favor with a punt return touchdown, but it wasn’t enough. The Broncos defense has turned back the clock, going all-Tom Jackson on opponents – having allowed just 10 points in the second half this season – and Kyle Orton keeps winning. Go figure. Kudos to Josh McDaniels and defensive coordinator – and San Francisco 49ers vagabond – Mike Nolan. Apparently they didn’t get the message this team should finish with double-digit losses.

How can you not love the NFL? Unless you’re a fan of the Titans, Redskins, Rams, Rai…Scratch that. There are probably a lot of NFL-haters right now. Until week seven…

NFL players and coaches like to talk about the four quarters of the season. As we wrap up week 4, the first quarter comes to a close and we can start to see some emerging trends from the 2009-2010 season. Quarterbacks are running the league as usual, but defensive schemes and time share running backs are the en vogue modifications that separate winning and losing teams at the ¼ mile mark of the season.

The Role of a QB

My girlfriend and I have been together for a long time now; six years or so. We share household chores, one of which is the laundry. Despising the task, we agreed to split it up: I take the clothes into the basement and then move them around between washing machine and dryer all day. I don’t mind doing this too much, and even if I did, our roles are predestined as her allergies won’t allow her to enter the cat haven that is the basement of our 4 flat. Then I bring up all the laundry before dinner and her job is to fold it all and put it away. It’s a fair deal; you should try it. However one of my firm beliefs in life is that anything worth doing is worth doing completely. Don’t just half donkey it; commit!

Sunday night, as I stumbled into bed around midnight, wanting nothing more than to collapse into the sweet embrace of my 19 year old, perfectly broken in pillow, I was harshly greeted with a sharp pillow zipper across the face. Why you ask? Because she didn’t complete her part of the bargain. Clearly she is trying to kill me.

This relates to the NFL most aptly in the Jets semi-humiliating loss at New Orleans. Rookie phenom Mark Sanchez looked a lot more rookie and not very phenomenal as he turned the ball over four times, twice leading to scores for the Saints. The defense held the NFL scoring leaders to only 10 points, a miracle by any standards, but Sanchez’s turnovers led to the Jets first loss of the season. Coupled with the pillowcase disaster, it made for a difficult Sunday.

Defensive Indifference

Defense, like pitching, wins playoff games. But currently, it’s winning regular season games as well. Take a look at early season division leaders, and you’ll notice a shutdown defense as the common thread. The Giants continue to stifle opponenst wit ha scheme developed by current St. Louis Rams head coach Steve Spaguolo. Apparently, the language isn’t translating in the Lou. The Giants dominated the Chiefs and look forward to hosting Oakland, who should springboard them to the 5-0 start they were unable to secure last year.

The Jets’ blitzing defense has given Houston QB Matt Schaub, New England QB Tom Brady, and even New Orleans QB Drew Brees, fits of rushed inaccuracy. Even after Sunday’s loss, the defense still has them atop the division.

Speaking of the Saints, their defense looks to be much improved this year. The 2009-2010 Saints look much like the 2006 Colts. Amazingly skilled quarterback, with enough knowledge of a complex offensive system to change plays on the fly and lead a team on a long run in the playoffs as well as a multi-faceted run game, multiple quality receivers and now a defense that has the speed to keep opponents off balance…this team could be the one you don’t want to face this year. Plus they have this hilarious commercial that cracks my brother up every time they play it.

Other division leaders include Ray Ray’s Ravens, who haven’t missed a beat following the Rex Ryan exodus that saw Bart Scott, Jim Leonard and the Juggs machine leave for the NY/NJ border.

Last but not least, the Minnesota Vikings put on a pass rush clinic last night in the first annual Brett Favre Homecoming Game. So much happened in this matchup that it probably deserves its own post, so I’ll just focus on the defense. The Williams wall pretty much locks down any opposing running back, as the Vikings have led the league in rush yards allowed over the last 3 seasons. Jared Allen, his mullet, and his 405 horsepower engine simply abused whichever combination of linemen, tight ends and running backs that the Packers put out there to stop him. The Vikings are another team that feature a potent running game, stalwart defense and savvy quarterback combination that frequently succeed in the playoffs.

Split Backs

Gone are the days of the 30 carry a game RB, much to the dismay of fantasy owners around the country. When our league started, San Diego Chargers RB LaDainian Tomlinson was the unquestioned number one player in the game. Today he splits carries with Darren Sproles. Dallas RB Marion Barber was thought to have entered last year as a primary feature back in the league. He ended up splitting carries with Felix Jones and now is in a triple time share with Tashard Choice as well. Edgerrin James was unseated by Joseph Addai from his long tenured role in Indianapolis a few years ago, and today, only four years after being drafted we see Addai splitting carries with newly drafted Donald Brown.

Ronnie Brown can’t shake Ricky Williams down in Miami, despite being probably the most effective director of the Wildcat system in the league. At least 3 guys are running the ball in Pittsburgh, after U of I standout Rashard Mendellhall’s coming out party. Heck, even the unstoppable Adrian Peterson yields occasional carries and third down responsibilities to veteran Chester Taylor.

The point is that teams understand that the most effective running game is one that never stays the same. Certain guys are better between the tackles, certain guys catch the ball better out of the backfield, certain guys pick up the blitz, and most importantly, history has shown us that only the rarest of running backs can stand up to season after season of abuse suffered at the line and the bottom of pileups. You need to distribute your carries among a bigger group of players if you hope to have any or all of them around for a prolonged period of time. It’s not fun for fantasy, and maybe it takes a little away from real life football and its records, but in the end, your team will be better served by a committee.

Not much of a recap I guess. Maybe somebody else will do a better one.

Item of the week is this that’s perfect if you’re a quarterback, running back, and especially if you’re a speedy, mulleted lineman.

Week 2 showed us once again that parity in the league is back in full force and that as many have begun to notice, perhaps home field advantage isn’t all it was once cracked up to be. Cinci went into Green Bay and won, New Orleans beat Philly, the Cardinals beat up on Jacksonville and Oakland went into Arrowhead to beat the Chiefs. So many great games around the league, let’s start with the one that nearly moved me to tears…

Pressure Cooker

Tom Brady and the New England Patriots went into the Meadowlands this weekend and looked to make it 9 in a row against an up and coming Jets team. Brady was pressured all day by Rex Ryan’s new defense led by Bart Scott, David Harris and a Darrelle Revis who is starting to get that Champ Bailey circa 2003 reputation, which is at once, exciting and a little worrisome. The Jets hadn’t beaten the Patriots in Jersey since the Regan administration, so this was a huge win. I remember when I was like 20 and my 15 year old brother tackled me in some stupid game in the snow. My first thought was, “I think I’ve lacerated my spleen.” My second thought was, “how has a child done this to me?” That’s what the Pats are feeling this week. Vegas had the over/under for Jets wins at 7 prior to the season. I’m sort of wishing I had placed a bet right now. Wait, wait! I take it all back. The Jets are mediocre at best. UNJINX, UNJINX!

Last Minute Cutler

After a week of listening to Chicago sports radio personalities slow roast Jay Cutler over a fire, the new kid in town responded with a game winning drive against the Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers. Gone were the errant throws that found their way into opposing hands as Cutler, Greg Olsen and Devin Hester did just enough to keep the score close. Steelers surefire kicker and offseason Wildman, Jeff Reed, missed two crucial field goals, and the Bears were able to eek out a major victory over the champs. Following a 1-1 opening, the Bears schedule really becomes favorable with upcoming games @ Seattle, vs Detroit, @ Atlanta, @ Cincinnati, and home again for Cleveland. Those are all winnable games and Cutler may arrive back in Chicago in November with a rare smile on his often pouty face. Things are looking up for the Bears.

Manningness

Eli and Peyton were both able to secure wins as the Giants went into Cowboys‘ Xanadu and won late the Colts followed suit with a victory of their own in Miami. It’s sort of silly really, when you think about it. What other family has taken over a profession as concretely as the Mannings have taken over NFL Quarterback? Sure, the Staab’s, are the kings of car batteries, but who is to say they are better than any other 12 volt expert in Idaho? The Mannings on the other hand, have dominated professional quarterbacking over multiple generations. It gets overhyped to the point of annoyance, but to have a NFL QB sire two NFL QBs—one of whom is a lock for the Hall of Fame—reads like some poorly conceived sitcom. Go Mannings! The NFL and everyone in Indy and the greater New York area is rooting for you to meet in the Super Bowl until one of you retires.

And Introducing Chris Johnson as…Predator

Attention League: Chris Johnson is very fast and extremely elusive….Although Matt Schaub and the Houston attack led by Andre Johnson and Owen Daniels was able to overcome Chris Johnson’s fantasy record day—in our league he scored like 51 points—the young back from ECU reminded everyone that while he may resemble Aaaanold’s nemesis from the 1987 classic, he is not to be trifled with. I’m not going to look up the numbers, because frankly it’s depressing, but he had something like 200 yards rushing and another 100 receiving to go along with 3 combined touchdowns. Johnson and the Titans head into Jersey to play the Jets this weekend, and I hope the Jets have seen the John McTeirnan motion picture recently, because as everyone knows…”If it bleeds, we can kill it,” which in NFL speak translates to, “Put Your Fastest Linebacker On This Guy At All Times.”

Ravens are Funny

Here are my top 3 moments concerning ravens…this is the only Raven I knew when I was 13 (it’s better in Spanish), this is probably the greatest imitation of a raven captured on film and the video below is of an old bird performing the mating ritual of the Eastern Seaboard Raven. The best part is right around 2:45 if you want to skip ahead.

Other than that, I don’t know much about the Ravens besides the fact that they’re still the good old Cleveland Browns to me. I know a lot of people from Cleveland, and I bet they wish they could have the Ravens back home, wearing the brown and orange again. Anyways, the Ravens are soaring again, with that punishing defense led by Ray Lewis but more surprisingly, with an actual functioning offense directed by second year QB and former Delaware Dove, Eagle, or whatever arial creature–Blue Hen…excuse me Delawareans, Joe Flacco, the flock decended on San Diego and had their way with the Bolts. Flacco throws the deep ball like Carson Palmer used to—hopefully for Baltimore fans, his career will take a different path—and scatback Ray Rice gives defenses pause about bringing a blitz.. The Ravens have a decent schedule coming up, facing stepbrother Cleveland and perennial underdog Cincinnati 4 times in the next 7 games, this team could easily be sitting pretty in the AFC North come Thanksgiving.

Pantsless Coach Looking Sharp

San Francisco coach and former Bears Hall of Fame Linebacker Mike Singletary is a serious man. So serious, that in order to illustrate different football motifs to his team, he feels it necessary to remove his pants during halftime speeches. And you know what? It’s working out there. The Niners haven’t really been good since Steve Young left the field for the booth, but Singletary, running back Frank Gore, and a stout defense captained by the terrifying Patrick Willis—just ask Brad Smith—but this might be the start of something again. The NFC west is nothing special this year and there is no reason to believe the 49ers can’t compete for the division.

We’ve got week 3 right around the corner. The baseball playoff races are finally starting to shape up. October is going to be a crazy month around here. Stay tuned.

Item of the week is any of these Gridiron Classics. Pick one up and look sharp on Sunday’s all season long.

BCS Bonanza

The Florida Gators ran all over the Oklahoma Sooners last night to win their 2nd National Championship in 3 years. It’s no secret that I’m not the world’s biggest college football fan—with their Bowl system and mismatched-mid season matchups, I just can’t get into it—but, to be fair, last night’s BCS Championship game was an exciting affair that saw Tim Tebow lead the Gators past Sam Bradford and the Sooners.

(more…)