So I watching a recent episode of Friday Night Lights (shame on you if you’ve never seen it) and viewed a scene in which the wily Buddy Garrity talked his way into announcing East Dillon football games on an exclusively Spanish-speaking radio station. The owner of the station hardly understood a word. But “football” needed no translation. Mention of “futbol Americano” (or soccer’s ugly namesake of a cousin) upset the station owner as he threw his hands in disgust and turned away.

Apparently, this man’s been sleeping under a rock.

What has transpired in football circles recently – college and pro – borders on the absurd. In the NCAAs, we saw one of the decade’s greatest fly north to the NFL, another weasel his way west and insensitive, humiliating and criminal behavior including physical abuse and locking people in closets, allegedly. And I’m just talking about head coaches!

In the NFL, fortunately, the excitement has taken place between the goal posts. The playoffs have offered great entertainment: teams combining for 96 points, defensive linemen with a passion for spearing things, and Rex Ryan.

But let’s start in the amateur ranks, where the transgressions of several head coaches have been…well…amateur. Players accused Kansas’ Mark Mangino for making disparaging and humiliating remarks on the field. Down at South Florida, school officials concluded a report claiming Jim Leavitt grabbed a player by the throat, slapped him in the face and lied about it, was true. And at Texas Tech, receiver Craig James said that, after complaining about a possible concussion, Mike Leach forced him in – of all places – an electrical closet.

Sound doctoral advice. No?

Needless to say, all three men are currently on the unemployment line.

And then there’s USC.

A fantasy land for college football since Pete Carroll took over in 2000…until allegations involving recruiting infractions and Reggie Bush reached the surface. Next, headlines alleged running back Joe McKnight’s girlfriend received a vehicle as a gift. And just like that, Pete Carroll had had enough. Shortly after a disappointing 9-4 season, the long-sought after coach was wooed back to the NFL by the Seattle Seahawks. Must have been the weather.

But the drama was only beginning at “The Coliseum.” USC: a soap-opera for men.

The cliffhanger this time? Hiring Lane Kiffin. Yes, that Lane Kiffin. The same wunderkind fired after one season with the Oakland Raiders. The same loud-mouthed, baby-faced nuisance while at Tennessee. And now, just one year into his “tenure” at Rocky Top, he leaves recruits and Urban Meyer behind for a return to LA.

…and gets replaced at Tennessee by Derek Dooley. Come again?

Meanwhile, in the big boy league, stakes are high. We’re a Sunday away from learning the Superbowl matchup.

Vikings or Saints? Colts or Jets?

I can’t wait until Sunday to watch the final installment of a tremendous franchise, titled: Three Men and a Rookie. Starring two of the industry’s all-time greatest, Peyton Manning and Brett Favre, an up-and-comer in Drew Brees, and, making his debut, Mark Sanchez – something tells me this chapter could be the best.
Give the rookie credit. He’s playing behind a spectacular defense, led by Deion…I mean, Darrelle Revis, a fantastic rushing attack and one heck of a coach – at the podium, at least. But as improbable as it seemed, Rex Ryan’s drawn-out post-season schedule – including a Superbowl parade through Times Square – is turning more and more probable each day.

Unfortunately, this week the Jets run into Indy’s relentless pass rush, led by Dwight Freeney and Robert Mathis, and Manning, the human audible. The Colts broke protocol last week and won a playoff game after resting their starters to end the season. It doesn’t really matter where Manning’s throwing the ball – I think he could even find me on a post route – but the veterans (Reggie Wayne, Dallas Clark) and the newbies (Pierre Garcon, Austin Collie) are getting the job done.

Meanwhile, in the NFC, some things never change. As much as I can’t stand no. 4 after embarrassing my Cowboys last weekend, it’s hard not to be impressed with Favre’s four touchdown performance – especially touchdown no. 4 (but I won’t get into that). If Jared Allen and the defensive line replicate last week’s performance, there is no way Brees will elude collapsing pockets – or mullets.

One thing the Saints do have on their side – New Orleans. The only place louder than the Metrodome may be the Superdome, and there’s no doubt the Saints’ passionate fans – who have waited years for this moment – will let Minnesota hear it.

My prediction? Colts 20, Jets 10. Saints 27, Vikings 24.

And for you naysayers…Time to pat myself on the back for calling, while 6-3, that the Denver Broncos would finish 8-8. They did. I also predicted the purple-hot Vikings would lose late in the season to the Arizona Cardinals. They did. Fortunately, many of my other predictions haven’t made this blog.

Clearly, when it comes to making news – good or bad – football of the American variety leads the class. You could argue there’s been too much excitement recently.

And I haven’t even mentioned the Pro Bowl…

Here’s a post from one of our new copywriters. I’ve been promoted to President of Overseas Operations or (POO) as I now force my underlings to refer to me. This is Brent Widmark, and he’ll be thrilling you week in and week out with tales of Norse Heroes. Enjoy…

NFL teams cannot be in a “must win” situation in week 3, can they? Well, yes, they can. Only three teams since 1990 have made the playoffs after starting the season 0-3, the most recent being the 1998 Buffalo Bills, led by Thurman Thomas, Andre Reed, and Doug Flutie in the twilight of their careers. In the AFC, after week two the Miami Dolphins, Cleveland Browns, Tennessee Titans, Kansas City Chiefs, and Jacksonville Jaguars all found themselves looking down the barrel of an 0-3 season. In the NFC, the Carolina Panthers, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, St. Louis Rams, and Detroit Lions were trying to replace the donut in their win column. The only two teams of these nine two scrape out a win were the Jaguars and the Lions, who ended a 19 game losing streak. Somewhere Matt Millen is breathing a sigh of relief and hoping he’ll never have to answer another question regarding his credibility as an ESPN analyst after being the architect of Detroit’s flawless 0-16 season in 2008.

Quarterback problems are a common link between teams who are still searching for their first win. Chad Pennington may be lost for the season for the Miami Dolphins. Jake Delhomme is frustrating Steve Smith fantasy owners. And the Cleveland Browns, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and Kansas Chiefs are looking for stability at the QB spot. The Chiefs have the best chance at finding that as Matt Cassel continues to bounce back from injury. Also injured last week for the Chiefs was WR Dwayne Bowe. As Al Michaels would say, he had a hamstring. Brand new Chief Bobby Wade could be a sleeper fantasy WR option if Bowe’s hamstring doesn’t mend.

The NFL is a quarterback league. Top quarterbacks can take a team up a level by themselves. That is why the Chicago Bears were aggressive in trading for Jay Cutler. If the NFL is a quarterback league, then the NFL media is a “What did you do last week?” entity. In Chicago, after a week of Cutler bashing on the radio after his week 1 four-interception-performance against the Green Bay Packers, it’s been nothing but praise as the Bears have beat the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Seattle Seahawks to go 2-1. Quarterbacks like Cutler, Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Tom Brady, and Ben Roethlisberger prove to be invaluable every season.

Last season Pennington led the NFL in completion percentage at 67.4 percent. His injury is not great news for wide receiver Ted Ginn, Jr, who needs the most accurate passer he can find. If he catches the touchdown pass that went in and out of his hands near the end of the week two against the Indianapolis Colts, the Dolphins may very well be sitting at 1-2 and still dreaming of being the 11-5 team they were in 2008 and not the 1-15 team they were in 2007. The Miami Dolphins will turn to former University of Michigan QB Chad Henne. Also lingering on the depth chart is rookie, Wildcat specialist and former West Virginia Mountaineer QB Pat White.

When the Dolphins drafted Ted Ginn, Jr in the first round of the 2007 NFL draft, fans, commentators, sports writers, hot dog vendors, and Brady Quinn were shocked that the team did not draft Notre Dame QB Brady Quinn. Quinn sat in the green room at the draft and sheepishly watched himself slip through the top 20 before being selected by the Cleveland Browns at number 22 overall. The Browns are now 0-3 and have thrown six interceptions on the season, the second most in the NFL, three by Quinn and three by his backup/quarterback controversy counterpart Derek Anderson.

If the Browns need to seek inspiration for turning their season around, they need only to look a little north to… Detroit? Yep, to the now 1-2 Detroit Lions. Before he was drafted number one overall, former Georgia Bulldog, Matthew Stafford publically welcomed the challenge of trying to turn the Detroit Lions around. He beat out Daunte Culpepper in training camp to earn the starting quarterback spot and the privilege of chucking it up to phenom WR Calvin Johnson. Stafford led them to a win over the Washington Redskins in week 3, their first win since December 23, 2007. After throwing five picks in the first two games, Stafford threw zero on Sunday and connected with Bryant Johnson for his second touchdown of the year. The Lions will now hope that RB Kevin Smith’s shoulder injury is nothing serious as they try to double their win total from the last 22 months next week against division rival Chicago Bears.

After losing to the Detroit Lions last week and barely squeaking out a 9-7 win against the winless St. Louis Rams in week two, the chair under Washington Redskin coach Jim Zorn may be beginning to feel a little warm. No costume Clinton Portis can conjure can hide the way the ‘Skins have played this year, but reason to celebrate is right around the corner as the next three opponents for Jason Campbell, LaRon Landry and company are a combine 0-9 right now. A 4-2 start to the season is Washington’s for the taking.

The only other 0-2 team, besides the Lions, to win in week 3 was the Jacksonville Jaguars, who got 119 yards and 3 TD’s from RB Maurice Jones-Drew. No coach looks better on the sidelines than Jack Del Rio and few coaches walked off the field happier than he did on Sunday. The Jags and QB David Garrard will face two 0-3 teams in the next three weeks and should have a good chance at finding themselves with a .500 record or better after week six. A Jags win may have helped Florida Gator fans forget Tim Tebow’s exit from Saturday’s game. Actually, no. The flags in Florida are still at half-mast and counselors are available on the University of Florida campus to help students cope with the fact that Tebow may miss the Gator’s next game in two weeks.

It’s a QB league and the New York Jets look like they have found a franchise QB in former USC Trojan Mark Sanchez. Sanchez comes from a brotherhood of USC QB’s that includes Cincinnati Bengal Carson Palmer, Arizona Cardinal Matt Leinart, Kansas City Chief Matt Cassel, and John David Booty, who was bumped to the Minnesota Viking practice squad when Brett Favre unretired, swooped in and stole his roster spot and his number. Sanchez and Head Coach Rex Ryan, son of famed defensive wizard Buddy Ryan, have the J-E-T-S off to an undefeated first three weeks of the year after knocking off the Houston Texans on the road and the New England Patriots and Tennessee Titans at home.

For several reasons, Sean Salisbury is not mentioned in the above list of former USC QB’s. No, there will not be a picture.

And speaking of 4, as we call him where I am from, Brett Favre version 2009 was Brett Favre version 1997 for at least one play on Sunday, throwing a 32 yard TD pass with two seconds left in the game to beat the San Francisco 49ers. On the receiving end was former Philadelphia Eagle WR Greg Lewis, who was signed by the Minnesota Vikings just before the season began. The Vikings remain undefeated, helped by a Frank Gore sprained ankle early in the game. Rookie, and former Alabama Crimson Tide RB, Glen Coffee took Gore’s place and rushed for 54 yards on 25 carries against the stout Minnesota Viking defensive line led by Pat Williams, Kevin Williams, and Jared Allen. The Vikings will try to improve to “Favre and O” against the Packers on Monday night. Favre might look across the way at Greg Jennings and Donald Driver and wish he was back in Green Bay. Or he might turn around and see Adrian Peterson and feel really good about being old in Minnesota, in the dome, where it is warm in December.

Joining the Jets and Vikings in the ranks of the undefeated are the New York Giants and Eli Manning, the New Orleans Saints and Drew Brees, the Baltimore Ravens and Joe Flacco, the Indianapolis Colts and Peyton Manning, and Denver Broncos and John Elway… err Bubby Brister? Nope. Kyle Orton is 3-0, Denver!

Looking to week four, New York Jets shutdown cornerback Darrelle Revis has a huge challenge in front of him as he goes against Drew Brees’ high flying New Orleans Saints offense. Isaac Bruce will face his former team when the Rams and 49ers square off. Terrell Owens will try to start a new streak of consecutive games with a catch when Buffalo goes to Miami. TO’s record setting streak of 185 consecutive games with a catch was snapped on Sunday. Brett Favre will square off against the Green Bay Packers for the first time since leaving the team for retirement, before coming back and signing with the Jets, retiring, and then coming back again this year with the Vikings. Hopefully for the Vikings his muscle memory does not kick in when he sees a wide open green and gold clad Nick Barnett. That game is on Monday night and is expect to attract an enormous audience. If the Vikings lose, nobody in Minnesota or Wisconsin will be happy on Tuesday. I wonder what kind of questions the media will serve up to Aaron Rodgers all week…

In fantasy leagues, if you own Matt Ryan, Michael Turner, Larry Fitzgerald, Kurt Warner, DeAngelo Williams, Steve Smith, Brian Westbrook, or Donovan McNabb, you’ll want to sit them this week. Their teams have the first bye week of the season.

Item of the week is this classic top seller. Support your alma mater, your favorite NFL player’s former stomping grounds, or just get a great looking long sleeve tee for the fall.

Week 2 showed us once again that parity in the league is back in full force and that as many have begun to notice, perhaps home field advantage isn’t all it was once cracked up to be. Cinci went into Green Bay and won, New Orleans beat Philly, the Cardinals beat up on Jacksonville and Oakland went into Arrowhead to beat the Chiefs. So many great games around the league, let’s start with the one that nearly moved me to tears…

Pressure Cooker

Tom Brady and the New England Patriots went into the Meadowlands this weekend and looked to make it 9 in a row against an up and coming Jets team. Brady was pressured all day by Rex Ryan’s new defense led by Bart Scott, David Harris and a Darrelle Revis who is starting to get that Champ Bailey circa 2003 reputation, which is at once, exciting and a little worrisome. The Jets hadn’t beaten the Patriots in Jersey since the Regan administration, so this was a huge win. I remember when I was like 20 and my 15 year old brother tackled me in some stupid game in the snow. My first thought was, “I think I’ve lacerated my spleen.” My second thought was, “how has a child done this to me?” That’s what the Pats are feeling this week. Vegas had the over/under for Jets wins at 7 prior to the season. I’m sort of wishing I had placed a bet right now. Wait, wait! I take it all back. The Jets are mediocre at best. UNJINX, UNJINX!

Last Minute Cutler

After a week of listening to Chicago sports radio personalities slow roast Jay Cutler over a fire, the new kid in town responded with a game winning drive against the Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers. Gone were the errant throws that found their way into opposing hands as Cutler, Greg Olsen and Devin Hester did just enough to keep the score close. Steelers surefire kicker and offseason Wildman, Jeff Reed, missed two crucial field goals, and the Bears were able to eek out a major victory over the champs. Following a 1-1 opening, the Bears schedule really becomes favorable with upcoming games @ Seattle, vs Detroit, @ Atlanta, @ Cincinnati, and home again for Cleveland. Those are all winnable games and Cutler may arrive back in Chicago in November with a rare smile on his often pouty face. Things are looking up for the Bears.

Manningness

Eli and Peyton were both able to secure wins as the Giants went into Cowboys‘ Xanadu and won late the Colts followed suit with a victory of their own in Miami. It’s sort of silly really, when you think about it. What other family has taken over a profession as concretely as the Mannings have taken over NFL Quarterback? Sure, the Staab’s, are the kings of car batteries, but who is to say they are better than any other 12 volt expert in Idaho? The Mannings on the other hand, have dominated professional quarterbacking over multiple generations. It gets overhyped to the point of annoyance, but to have a NFL QB sire two NFL QBs—one of whom is a lock for the Hall of Fame—reads like some poorly conceived sitcom. Go Mannings! The NFL and everyone in Indy and the greater New York area is rooting for you to meet in the Super Bowl until one of you retires.

And Introducing Chris Johnson as…Predator

Attention League: Chris Johnson is very fast and extremely elusive….Although Matt Schaub and the Houston attack led by Andre Johnson and Owen Daniels was able to overcome Chris Johnson’s fantasy record day—in our league he scored like 51 points—the young back from ECU reminded everyone that while he may resemble Aaaanold’s nemesis from the 1987 classic, he is not to be trifled with. I’m not going to look up the numbers, because frankly it’s depressing, but he had something like 200 yards rushing and another 100 receiving to go along with 3 combined touchdowns. Johnson and the Titans head into Jersey to play the Jets this weekend, and I hope the Jets have seen the John McTeirnan motion picture recently, because as everyone knows…”If it bleeds, we can kill it,” which in NFL speak translates to, “Put Your Fastest Linebacker On This Guy At All Times.”

Ravens are Funny

Here are my top 3 moments concerning ravens…this is the only Raven I knew when I was 13 (it’s better in Spanish), this is probably the greatest imitation of a raven captured on film and the video below is of an old bird performing the mating ritual of the Eastern Seaboard Raven. The best part is right around 2:45 if you want to skip ahead.

Other than that, I don’t know much about the Ravens besides the fact that they’re still the good old Cleveland Browns to me. I know a lot of people from Cleveland, and I bet they wish they could have the Ravens back home, wearing the brown and orange again. Anyways, the Ravens are soaring again, with that punishing defense led by Ray Lewis but more surprisingly, with an actual functioning offense directed by second year QB and former Delaware Dove, Eagle, or whatever arial creature–Blue Hen…excuse me Delawareans, Joe Flacco, the flock decended on San Diego and had their way with the Bolts. Flacco throws the deep ball like Carson Palmer used to—hopefully for Baltimore fans, his career will take a different path—and scatback Ray Rice gives defenses pause about bringing a blitz.. The Ravens have a decent schedule coming up, facing stepbrother Cleveland and perennial underdog Cincinnati 4 times in the next 7 games, this team could easily be sitting pretty in the AFC North come Thanksgiving.

Pantsless Coach Looking Sharp

San Francisco coach and former Bears Hall of Fame Linebacker Mike Singletary is a serious man. So serious, that in order to illustrate different football motifs to his team, he feels it necessary to remove his pants during halftime speeches. And you know what? It’s working out there. The Niners haven’t really been good since Steve Young left the field for the booth, but Singletary, running back Frank Gore, and a stout defense captained by the terrifying Patrick Willis—just ask Brad Smith—but this might be the start of something again. The NFC west is nothing special this year and there is no reason to believe the 49ers can’t compete for the division.

We’ve got week 3 right around the corner. The baseball playoff races are finally starting to shape up. October is going to be a crazy month around here. Stay tuned.

Item of the week is any of these Gridiron Classics. Pick one up and look sharp on Sunday’s all season long.