Well I’m really starting to lap the field here. But being the tallest, quickest and best looking of the group, it’s only to be expected.

We continue with our PostView of the 30 MLB teams. Loyal readers probably need to prepare themselves for the frightening possibility that my 10 teams will be comepleted in the near future while the other two tortoises may never reach the finish line. It’s a grim reality, I know.

Today we take a gander at the Colorado Rockies. Yet another ingenious expansion name. We are the Rockies. We are mountains. You will not climb us.

The Rockies are a pretty good young team. They have two solid young starting pitchers in Ubaldo Jimenez and Jorge De La Rosa. De La Rosa is one of those names you can say for about five minutes straight when you’re stuck in traffic to entertain yourself. Trust me.

Thier lineup is packed with solid hitters at nearly every position. Troy Tulowitzki is the star of the show and in Denver I’m guessing he is enjoying life.

The bullpen is a little shaky right now, but this is a team that has made the playoffs two of the last three years, and a team I think will play in October again. Excuse me Rocktober. You see, these names really are brilliant.

Predictions:

Team MVP – Huston Street…if he can return from the DL and lock down 9th innings like he did last year, the Rockies have a good chance of winning the division or wild card.

X-Factor – Carlos Gonzalez…Carlos Gonzalez (Cargo to his friends and fantasy owners) haunted my dreams for a 5 day period last fall when he hit somewhere north of .500 in the divisional round against the Phillies. He’s a top prospect from Oakland in the Matt Holliday trade and projects as a 5 tool player. He’s out with a tight hamstring currently, an injury that this writer encourages him to, “rub some dirt on it and get back out there.”

Standings – 1st in the NL West.

Well, our projected speed for churning these previews out has slowed to a Bengie Molina on the basepaths like pace. But we’ll see if a preview of the Diamondbacks cant get us back on…track. Lots of “acks” in there.

The Arizona Diamonbacks originated in 1998. They promptly came out of the gate and were World Series Champions by their 3rd year. Seems fitting. The Diamondbacks and Marlins have both won World Series titles while pitiable franchises like the Cubs haven’t so much as sniffed a World Series appearance in decades. Even the Rays and Rockies have been to the Series in the last few years. Doesn’t seem right.

On a side note, why do these expansion teams always pick the worst names? The Nashville Predators? The Toronto Raptors? I guess fans of Arnold and/or Jurrasic Park were clamoring for sports franchises to cross over to? At least the Diamondbacks took the normal route of selecting a local animal to represent themselves with, but a poisonous snake?

Hey Kids! Come on out to the ballpark and win a chance to pet Diamondback mascot Freddy the Rattlesnake! Don’t worry Mom and Dad, he’s been de-fanged!

(In a brilliant marketing move, the Diamondbacks have selected this to be their actual mascot)

Anyways, terrible name. Snakes are dangerous and children should fear them at all costs.
These Diamondbacks though, let’s see how much fear they’ll inspire in the rest of the National League in 2010.

C – Miguel Montero
1B – Adam LaRoche
2B – Kelly Johnson
3B – Mark Reynolds
SS – Stephen Drew
LF – Conor Jackson
CF – Chris Young
RF – Justin Upton

UTL – Gerrardo Parra, Chris Snyder

Rotation – Dan Haren, Brandon Webb, Edwin Jackson, Ian Kennedy, Kenny DeNunez

Closer – Chad Qualls

Honestly, I really want to dislike this team. I don’t know why. Call it latent snake hatred if you want, but just from their lineup and first three starters, they’ve got a good chance to compete in the NL West. Picking up LaRoche and Johnson in the offseason on reasonable deals (4.5M and 2.3M respectively) were quiet but smart value moves as both should see improvemed hitting in Arizona.

Mark Reynolds was a player that won a lot of league titles for fantasy owners last season. The only player in the league to hit 40 HR, 100 RBI and 20 SB, Reynolds came out of Jack Cust like depths of the waiver pool and produced at an elite level. Justin Upton, on the other hand, had all the pedigree you could hope for, and actually delivered by hitting 26 HR to go with 20 SB. Upton is 20 years old or 17 or some ridiculous age that makes everyone salivate over his eventual ceiling. This isn’t the year he reaches it, but expecting him to increase 2009’s totals is a fairly easy thing to do.

The pitching staff might boast the best 3 pitchers on any team in the NL. Dan Haren is a perennial stud, posting back to back 200+ strikeout seasons, with an ERA in the low 3’s and a whip in the low 1’s. He’s good. Brandon Webb is coming back from shoulder problems last season, but was the NL Cy Young in 2006 and runner up in 2007 and 2008. If he’s healthy again, there is no reason to expect different from him. Edwin Jackson was picked up in the Max Scherzer trade, and Arizona can expect the young hurler to see improved numbers in an inferior league.

Chad Qualls is their closer. His last name begins with the letter “Q” which is unusual, I think.

The Diamondbacks will be overlooked in the NL this year due to their poor showing last season and because all people fear and hate snakes. But if healthy, they’re a team that you probably wouldn’t want to face in the playoffs simply because of the top of their pitching rotation and a couple of big power hitters. People may scoff at “playoffs” and “Diamondbacks” in the same sentence, but that’s a difficult division out there and the winner could come out with 88 wins or so.

Predictions:

Team MVP – Webb…if he’s healthy this team has a shot at the playoffs

X- Factor – Snakes across the great State of Arizona will gather and prepare for a massive first strike campaign against the people of that state. Act accordingly.

Standings – 2nd Place NL West (potential Wild Card winner)

The San Diego Padres are a Major League Baseball team according to various interweb sources. At the moment, then happen to be a fairly troubled Major League Baseball team. I think there was a divorce in the ownership family some years ago…assets were liquidated…franchise players were dealt…camouflage uniforms were scaled back on….

It’s been a tough couple of years.

In 1998, the Padres represented the National League in the World Series. There were quickly trounced by the Yankees and since then, the team slowly fell from grace in the NL west. First ballot Hall of Famer Trevor Hoffman is gone. Jake Peavy is gone. I think they even got rid of the chicken.

So yes. The Padres are waiting for their renaissance period. Is 2010 the start of something special in San Diego? Has the new decade brought with it the return of the Padres to the class of the National League?

Let’s have a look.

Everyday lineup:

C – Nick Hundley
1B – Adrian Gonzalez
2B – David Eckstein
3B – Chase Headley
SS – Everth Cabrera
LF – Kyle Blanks
CF – Scott Hairston
RF – Will Venable

UTL – Jerry Hairston Jr., Tony Gwynn Jr., Aaron Cunningham

Starters – Chris Young, Jon Garland, Kevin Correia, Clayton Richard, Mat Latos, Aaron Poreda (possibly)

Closer – Heath Bell

Take another gander at that roster. That’s what 40 million dollars can buy you in the Majors in 2010. I hate to keep kicking this team while they’re down, but there is virtually nothing to be inspired by here. Adrian Gonzalez is the best player on the team by a friar’s robe length, and while he is probably the most affordable player -production wise- in all of baseball, many think he too soon be gone so that San Diego may retool it’s minor league system with a bevy of Boston or some other prospect laden team headed back to the Padres.

To be fair, that is likely the weakest every day lineup in the league. Once Gonzalez moves on, my goodness, I don’t know what you’d hope for at the ball park every day. Maybe a 2 for 1 Hairston Brothers bobblehead giveaway day will be scheduled. I don’t even know how to make a 1-9 lineup card out of those names, although I’ll stick with tradition and say manager Bud Black decides to hit Gonzalez third and the pitcher last. The other seven slots he might as well pick out of a hat.

The rotation isn’t bad by any means. It’ll be difficult to go up against the Lincecum’s and Cain’s of the Giants, the Kershaw’s and Kuroda’s of the Dodgers, and the Jimenez‘ and De La Rosa’s of the Rockies, but there are worse rotations in the league. Correia quietly had a nice year last year, and Latos and Poreda could make a nice duo in years to come. Something to consider though is that San Diego’s Petco Park is the best pitchers park in the league. This team would be better suited throwing the three contributing writers of this blog out there in their starting rotation and spending their money on power/speed/average/lottery ticket type hitters.

Closer Heath Bell continues seamlessly in his transition from set up man to powerful closer, but again, a team with this sort of makeup can’t afford to have their second best player be their 50 innings per year closer.

I watched the Grammy’s last night, and apart from the forced duets that the Grammy producers insist upon showcasing year after year, and the very sad and confusing sight that were the late King of Pop’s children, the thing that stuck out to me most was the Black Eyed Peas. I don’t particularly enjoy the Black Eyed Peas, but many, many people do. The Black Eyed Peas performed a couple of shortened songs with a smattering of backup dancers and DJ’s and special effects. They were on stage for a total of maybe 5 minutes. The band consists of 4 members. The two that anyone who doesn’t follow the band around the country know include Fergie and Mr. Will.I.Am. There are two other men in the group. They were not permitted to sing and were marginalized to the side stages for any major choreography. They were allowed to participate, but no one was really taking them seriously. They were in short, the 2010 San Diego Padres.

Looking back, this preview looks overly harsh, but in fact I think I’ve sugar coated it a bit. Shout for the pina colada man, Padres fans. It’s going to be a long summer.

Predictions:

Team MVP – Gonzalez…for as long as he’s there.

X-Factor – the amazing weather in the greater San Diego area. Should make this brand of baseball easier to consume.

Standing: 5th in the NL West with a good chance of securing first overall pick in 2011 draft.

Here is the first post from our other new copywriter, Ariel Sandler. Ariel and Brent will be providing much of the content going forward, but still I’ll sneak in an occasional post. Enjoy…

Football, football, football.

That’s all Chicago sports fans have on their minds these days:

Can the Bears overcome a full season without Brian Urlacher? Will Jay Cutler do what the likes of Kyle Orton, Rex Grossman and others couldn’t? Is Johnny Knox a real person or reality show alter-ego?

And understandably so.

2009 was yet another disappointing baseball season in the Windy City. Mental mistakes and lackadaisical plays led White Sox Manager Ozzie Guillen to question his team’s effort and GM Kenny Williams to deem his team “underachievers.”

Don’t even get me started on my Cubbies. A season full of hope quickly soured to angst and anger. The baseball gods did everything in their powers – even delaying the final crosstown matchup until September- but to no avail.

At least Jake Peavy ended up in Chicago…

But before I dive head-first into the football deep-end, a post-season baseball tournament remains. And who doesn’t love playing prognosticator?

Now that this year’s guests have all but arrived (Atlanta and Detroit, you are out. Colorado and Minnesota, you can stay), let’s begin:

American League Divisional Series

New York Yankees vs. Minnesota Twins

Well wouldn’t you know it…just when I had written the Twinkies off, both literally and figuratively, they go and win four straight games to close out the season and force game no. 163. And the little team that could – did it again! Who needs home run slugger Justin Morneau when you have the best player in the world not named Albert Pujols, Joe Mauer, on your team? Or when lesser known players like Michael Cuddyer and Jason Kubel combine for 59 homers? What is there to say other then, Thank you, Minnesota,” for once again proving a team doesn’t need barrels of cash to field a winner. Speaking of which…

The recession-proof Yankees are back on top, sporting a $200 million payroll and the league’s best record. Unlike the Cubs, New York’s offseason acquisitions worked out swimmingly. Mark Teixeira, the other switch-hitter, leads the American League in RBI and the golden arm, CC Sabathia leads the AL in victories.

It’s your classic David vs. Goliath. Only this time, Goliath snatches the slingshot out of the air and suddenly whips it right back in David’s face. Minnesota’s emotional high may net them a win against the Bronx Bombers, but I say Yanks in four.

Boston Red Sox vs. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim

Thought about starting with a joke concerning the Angels name, but let’s be honest – that joke’s not funny anymore. So stop.

The Boston Red Sox seem to have underachieved all season. Or maybe that’s just because I have a number of their players on my failed fantasy baseball squad. But that lineup is stacked. Jacoby Ellsbury, Dustin Pedroia, David Ortiz, Kevin Youkilis and Victor Martinez? That reads like an all-star team. And only one of them has been accused of steroids.

Out West, the Angels continue to be who we thought they’d be. A winning team. They have played inspired ball all season and do so in a style many teams (paging Jim Hendry) underrate: speed and defense. But let’s not kid ourselves –name the Angels’ home run and wins leader.

(Still waiting).

If you said Kendry Morales and Joe Saunders – find something better to do with your time. The Angels will fight and hang around…until Papi lays the hammer down and continues his power resurgence. Sox in five.

National League Divisional Series

Los Angeles Dodgers vs. St. Louis Cardinals

I must decide: am I more excited for Manny Ramirez vs. Albert Pujols or Joe Torre vs. Tony LaRussa? “Wow…that ball must have gone 500 feet!” Or “What a pitching change! Look at that double-switch countermove!” Decisions, decisions.

Either way, this should be a good one. Both squads have received tremendous boosts from players not named Manny or Albert. The series may come down to which “role players” (Dodgers’ Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier or Cardinals’ Matt Holliday and Ryan Ludwick) step up.

As much as it hurts to say, I’ll take two of the top three National League earned run leaders, Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright. Cards in five.

Philadelphia Phillies vs. Colorado Rockies

The Rockies are back! This team just doesn’t go away anymore…ever. Troy Tulowitzki is ridiculous. Todd Helton is timeless. And Jason Marquis is winning games. This team survived the Wild Card cluster and almost caught the Dodgers.

The Philadelphia Phillies remain a conundrum. They are better on the road than at home. They just demoted their closer, Brad Lidge, a guy who was perfect in saves a season ago. But they have four guys – Ryan Howard, Jayson Werth, Raul Ibanez and Chase Utley – with over 30 home runs. Add two feared pitchers, Cliff Lee and Cole Hamels, and you should be set. Phillies in four.

American League Championship Series

New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox

Yanks and Sox. Sox and Yanks. Can you believe these teams haven’t met in the playoffs since 2004? Interestingly enough – the 2009 matchup will play very much like that series five years ago – only this time:

…with the Sox up 3-2 and mere outs away from a four-game sweep, Johnny Damon does his best 2004 impersonation (sans Jesus beard) and hits a two-run shot off Jonathan Papelbon in the 9th as “the Yankees win!…theeee Yankeeeesss win!” Hilarity ensues.

Sabathia and Burnett dominate games five and six, setting up the finale in new Yankee Stadium.
Madonna sings the National Anthem. Kate Hudson throws out the first pitch. And suddenly, Alex Rodriguez (you didn’t think I forgot about him?), realizes, “Hey, it’s good to be me,” and goes off. A four-hit night concludes with a three-run 8th inning blast for a 6-4 win.

And just like that – it’s Alex Rodriguez’s world. We’re just living in it.

National League Championship Series

St. Louis Cardinals vs. Philadelphia Phillies

Over on the senior circuit, the Cardinals and Phillies attempt similar fireworks. But that’s like any Seinfeld-cast member starring in a new show (although I guess Elaine wins). Pitchers absolutely dominate this series. They split the first four after a number of solo shots. Once again, Carpenter and Wainwright, prove the difference. Cardinals take the champs in six.

But not before Brad Lidge plunks Pujols in the shoulder – sending everyone, except for LaRussa, into a frenzy. Can he play in the Series? Why didn’t he simply hit the destroy button as the ball approached? Ladies and gentleman, your fireworks.

World Series

New York Yankees vs. St. Louis Cardinals

Calm down, Cardinals fans. Pujols is in the lineup. He is “The Machine,” remember? And he delivers, too. St. Louis grabs the lead after Yankee skipper Joe Girardi inexplicably pitches to Pujols with two men on base in the 8th inning and up 3-2. Pujols places one in the gap for a double and the Cardinals take a 1-0 lead.

The Steinbrenner’s throw a fit.

Girardi regroups, as do the Yankees, and take the next three games. The Cardinals send Chris Carpenter back to the mound in game five and he wins again – making him a ridiculous 6-0 in the playoffs.

The Steinbrenner’s throw another fit.

Sabathia takes the mound in game six and dominates. Couple that with two Teixeira home runs over the short porch in right and the Yankees storm the mound.

So there you have it. Your 2009 MLB postseason. The Yankees prove you have to spend money to make money. So the economy listens. And the recession lifts.

A guy can dream, can’t he?