Little Things from the NFL’s 2009 Season:

88 players in the NFL had at least one carry of 25 yards or more, including New York Jets punter Steve Weatherford. Not among the 88: Philadelphia Eagles RB Brian Westbrook and Indianapolis Colts RB Joseph Addai.

Eight RB’s finished with at least 1250 rushing yards, including the St. Louis Rams Steven Jackson, who was 2nd in the NFL in rushing yards despite being on a 1-15 team.

Two Carolina Panthers RB’s, DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart rushed for at least 1100 yards.

Jerome Harrison of the Cleveland Browns averaged 143 yards rushing in the four games in which he carried the ball more than 16 times, including 286 yards against the Kansas City Chiefs in Week 15.

Adrian Peterson finished 5th in the league in rushing yards with 1383, despite only topping 100 yards in a game three times during the season.

Chris Johnson of the Tennessee Titans topped 2000 yards rushing on the year; he is only the 6th RB in NFL history to do so.

Johnson averaged 5.6 yards per rushing attempt on the season. Jamaal Charles averaged 5.9.

LaDainian Tomlinson and Larry Johnson both averaged 3.3 yards per attempt.

Reggie Wayne caught 100 passes on the year. 73 of them were for first downs.

The Top 21 players in the NFL in receiving yards include three tight ends: Antonio Gates, Dallas Clark, and Jason Witten. All 21 had at least 11 receptions of 20 yards or more, except Wes Welker, who led the league in catches, 123, and was second in yards, 1348. He had eight plays for more than 20 yards.

The Blind Side book/movie subject Michael Oher, rookie RT for the Baltimore Ravens, had the fewest yards receiving in the NFL in 2009 with -8.

Oakland Raiders rookie WR Darius Heyward-Bey, 7th pick overall, played in 11 games, caught 9 passes for 124 yards and scored one TD.

San Francisco 49ers rookie WR Michael Crabtree, 10th pick overall, held out until after Week 5, then played in 11 games, caught 48 passes for 625 yards and 2 touchdowns.

Austin Collie, 4th round pick of the Colts, and Percy Harvin, 1st round pick of the Minnesota Vikings, led all rookie WR’s in receptions with 60. Harvin and New York Giants WR Hakeem Nicks led rookies in receiving yards with 790.

Ten QB’s threw for over 4000 yards this season. Seven of them are in the playoffs. Kurt Warner, the 8th playoff QB, threw for 3753 yards.

41 QB’s completed at least one pass of more than 45 yards. Kurt Warner did not.

155 players in the NFL caught a pass of at least 35 yards. Larry Fitzgerald did not.

14 QB’s threw at least 500 passes. Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler led them (and all other QB’s) in interceptions with 26. Peyton Manning was 2nd with 16. Brett Favre and Aaron Rodgers had the fewest at 7.

Jon Ryan, punter of the Seattle Seahawks, completed the longest pass by a non-QB, 42 yards. He finished the year with a 118.8 QB rating.

The Cleveland Browns won four games in a row after going 1-11 in their first twelve.

The Pittsburgh Steelers lost five games in a row after winning five in a row.

The Denver Broncos won six in a row to start the year and lost four in a row to end the year to finish 8-8.

The Indianapolis Colts and New Orleans Saints started the season 14-0 and 13-0, respectively. The Colts lost their last two and the Saints lost their last three.

The San Diego Chargers started the year 2-3 and then won their last 11.

The Tennessee Titans went 0-6 to start the year. They went 8-2 after that to finish 8-8.

BLACK MONDAY

Coaches are cleaning out their lockers today. So far Jim Zorn, who was for all intent and purposes relieved of his duties with the Washington Redskins somewhere around Week 6 or so, and the remainder of the Buffalo Bills coaching staff and have been told their services are no longer needed, wanted, or welcomed.

There is talk that Wade Phillips needs to win a playoff game to keep his job. Apparently an 11-5 season, the third playoff seed, a home playoff game, and a shutout to win the division in the season’s last game is not enough in Dallas to feel any sense of job security.

The expectations are different for Houston Texans and Carolina Panthers. In Houston, Gary Kubiak will retain his position after the organizations first winning season, going 9-7 and being a loss by either the Ravens or Jets on the season’s final day away from making the playoffs. Plus Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson led the league in yards at their respective positions.

The Carolina Panthers are keeping John Fox around… maybe? Because in Carolina, a winning season every other year is good enough. I think it is probably safe to say though that the John Fox-Jake Delhomme duo has reached its end. Delhomme threw for 8 TD’s and was picked off 18 times on the season, while backup Matt Moore started the last five games for the Panthers and threw for 8 TD’s and only 1 interception.

There are a lot of rumors flying around about Raheem Morris losing his job with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Tampa Bay was horrible, but Morris is a first year coach brought in to turn around a terrible team. You have to give the guy more than a year or two to do his job – unless of course you have Bill Cowher, his chin, and his mustache on the radar.

Maybe one case where it makes sense to fire a first year coach is in Oakland, where ironically nothing makes sense. Tom Cable allegedly hit a co-worker. That behavior is generally frowned upon. And Al Davis is Al Davis, so he may bring in a shuffleboard buddy of his who won a fantasy football league last season to coach the team.

PLAYOFFS

The Dallas Cowboys threw a donut at the Philadelphia Eagles to win the NFC East. With a win, the Eagles would have had a first round bye and a home playoff game. With the loss, they’ll travel to Dallas and play the Cowboys again this weekend. Donovan McNabb to DeSean Jackson and Tony Romo to Miles Austin are two of the more dangerous big play QB to WR combos in the league.

And speaking dangerous QB to WR combos, Chad Ochocinco/Johnson would like me to mention his and Carson Palmer’s names right now, but if I’m playing the Cincinnati Bengals I’m more concerned about Cedric Benson. Maybe the New York Jets backed into a playoff spot and maybe they didn’t, but Mark Sanchez is in the post-season and will do a very nice job of handing the ball off until he is absolutely required to throw it. Thomas Jones, get ready to see nine guys in the box against Cincinnati this weekend. Jets fans can mail cards to the Colts and Bengals thanking them for mailing it in in Weeks 16 and 17.

Following Philly/Dallas and New York/Cincy, the Arizona Cardinals and Green Bay Packers will square off in the third rematch of a Week 17 game this weekend. The Packers rolled over the Cardinals who had nothing to play for and did most of the rolling over all by themselves. There are some health concerns for Dominque Rodgers-Cromartie, Anquan Boldin, and Charles Woodson going into this game.

Baltimore travels to New England to play the Wes Welker-less Patriots. Welker tore up most of the _CL’s in his knee on Sunday. Joe Flacco, Ray Rice, Ray Lewis and company will look to put to rest Tom Brady, Randy Moss, and the Pats. Should that happen, the media will surely spark up the “Has Belichick lost it?” debate. For that reason alone, I’ll root for the Pats.

Brett Favre may or may not be on a tractor in Kiln, Mississippi this week. The Vikings can thank the Cowboys for beating the Eagles and getting them a first round bye. Favre loved Sidney Rice this season to the tune of 1312 yards and 8 TD’s. I don’t know what that tune sounds like, but it works for the Minnesota offense.

The New Orleans Saints are also waiting around for somebody to play football against. Drew Brees and his band of guys who can run fast and catch the ball will not have won in nearly a month when they take the field next.

The Colts are planning a really intense bye week in Indy. Somewhere Jim Caldwell is sitting with no expression on his face. The San Diego Chargers are taking it easy in a sunnier place where Philip Rivers can frolic on the beach and wait around for somebody to fly west to play a game.

THE NHL WINTER CLASSIC

The Boston Bruins beat the Philadelphia Flyers 2-1 in OT at Fenway Park in the NHL’s 2010 Winter Classic. Check out all our Winter Classic gear in this week’s items of the week!

Here’s a post from one of our new copywriters. I’ve been promoted to President of Overseas Operations or (POO) as I now force my underlings to refer to me. This is Brent Widmark, and he’ll be thrilling you week in and week out with tales of Norse Heroes. Enjoy…

NFL teams cannot be in a “must win” situation in week 3, can they? Well, yes, they can. Only three teams since 1990 have made the playoffs after starting the season 0-3, the most recent being the 1998 Buffalo Bills, led by Thurman Thomas, Andre Reed, and Doug Flutie in the twilight of their careers. In the AFC, after week two the Miami Dolphins, Cleveland Browns, Tennessee Titans, Kansas City Chiefs, and Jacksonville Jaguars all found themselves looking down the barrel of an 0-3 season. In the NFC, the Carolina Panthers, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, St. Louis Rams, and Detroit Lions were trying to replace the donut in their win column. The only two teams of these nine two scrape out a win were the Jaguars and the Lions, who ended a 19 game losing streak. Somewhere Matt Millen is breathing a sigh of relief and hoping he’ll never have to answer another question regarding his credibility as an ESPN analyst after being the architect of Detroit’s flawless 0-16 season in 2008.

Quarterback problems are a common link between teams who are still searching for their first win. Chad Pennington may be lost for the season for the Miami Dolphins. Jake Delhomme is frustrating Steve Smith fantasy owners. And the Cleveland Browns, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and Kansas Chiefs are looking for stability at the QB spot. The Chiefs have the best chance at finding that as Matt Cassel continues to bounce back from injury. Also injured last week for the Chiefs was WR Dwayne Bowe. As Al Michaels would say, he had a hamstring. Brand new Chief Bobby Wade could be a sleeper fantasy WR option if Bowe’s hamstring doesn’t mend.

The NFL is a quarterback league. Top quarterbacks can take a team up a level by themselves. That is why the Chicago Bears were aggressive in trading for Jay Cutler. If the NFL is a quarterback league, then the NFL media is a “What did you do last week?” entity. In Chicago, after a week of Cutler bashing on the radio after his week 1 four-interception-performance against the Green Bay Packers, it’s been nothing but praise as the Bears have beat the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Seattle Seahawks to go 2-1. Quarterbacks like Cutler, Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Tom Brady, and Ben Roethlisberger prove to be invaluable every season.

Last season Pennington led the NFL in completion percentage at 67.4 percent. His injury is not great news for wide receiver Ted Ginn, Jr, who needs the most accurate passer he can find. If he catches the touchdown pass that went in and out of his hands near the end of the week two against the Indianapolis Colts, the Dolphins may very well be sitting at 1-2 and still dreaming of being the 11-5 team they were in 2008 and not the 1-15 team they were in 2007. The Miami Dolphins will turn to former University of Michigan QB Chad Henne. Also lingering on the depth chart is rookie, Wildcat specialist and former West Virginia Mountaineer QB Pat White.

When the Dolphins drafted Ted Ginn, Jr in the first round of the 2007 NFL draft, fans, commentators, sports writers, hot dog vendors, and Brady Quinn were shocked that the team did not draft Notre Dame QB Brady Quinn. Quinn sat in the green room at the draft and sheepishly watched himself slip through the top 20 before being selected by the Cleveland Browns at number 22 overall. The Browns are now 0-3 and have thrown six interceptions on the season, the second most in the NFL, three by Quinn and three by his backup/quarterback controversy counterpart Derek Anderson.

If the Browns need to seek inspiration for turning their season around, they need only to look a little north to… Detroit? Yep, to the now 1-2 Detroit Lions. Before he was drafted number one overall, former Georgia Bulldog, Matthew Stafford publically welcomed the challenge of trying to turn the Detroit Lions around. He beat out Daunte Culpepper in training camp to earn the starting quarterback spot and the privilege of chucking it up to phenom WR Calvin Johnson. Stafford led them to a win over the Washington Redskins in week 3, their first win since December 23, 2007. After throwing five picks in the first two games, Stafford threw zero on Sunday and connected with Bryant Johnson for his second touchdown of the year. The Lions will now hope that RB Kevin Smith’s shoulder injury is nothing serious as they try to double their win total from the last 22 months next week against division rival Chicago Bears.

After losing to the Detroit Lions last week and barely squeaking out a 9-7 win against the winless St. Louis Rams in week two, the chair under Washington Redskin coach Jim Zorn may be beginning to feel a little warm. No costume Clinton Portis can conjure can hide the way the ‘Skins have played this year, but reason to celebrate is right around the corner as the next three opponents for Jason Campbell, LaRon Landry and company are a combine 0-9 right now. A 4-2 start to the season is Washington’s for the taking.

The only other 0-2 team, besides the Lions, to win in week 3 was the Jacksonville Jaguars, who got 119 yards and 3 TD’s from RB Maurice Jones-Drew. No coach looks better on the sidelines than Jack Del Rio and few coaches walked off the field happier than he did on Sunday. The Jags and QB David Garrard will face two 0-3 teams in the next three weeks and should have a good chance at finding themselves with a .500 record or better after week six. A Jags win may have helped Florida Gator fans forget Tim Tebow’s exit from Saturday’s game. Actually, no. The flags in Florida are still at half-mast and counselors are available on the University of Florida campus to help students cope with the fact that Tebow may miss the Gator’s next game in two weeks.

It’s a QB league and the New York Jets look like they have found a franchise QB in former USC Trojan Mark Sanchez. Sanchez comes from a brotherhood of USC QB’s that includes Cincinnati Bengal Carson Palmer, Arizona Cardinal Matt Leinart, Kansas City Chief Matt Cassel, and John David Booty, who was bumped to the Minnesota Viking practice squad when Brett Favre unretired, swooped in and stole his roster spot and his number. Sanchez and Head Coach Rex Ryan, son of famed defensive wizard Buddy Ryan, have the J-E-T-S off to an undefeated first three weeks of the year after knocking off the Houston Texans on the road and the New England Patriots and Tennessee Titans at home.

For several reasons, Sean Salisbury is not mentioned in the above list of former USC QB’s. No, there will not be a picture.

And speaking of 4, as we call him where I am from, Brett Favre version 2009 was Brett Favre version 1997 for at least one play on Sunday, throwing a 32 yard TD pass with two seconds left in the game to beat the San Francisco 49ers. On the receiving end was former Philadelphia Eagle WR Greg Lewis, who was signed by the Minnesota Vikings just before the season began. The Vikings remain undefeated, helped by a Frank Gore sprained ankle early in the game. Rookie, and former Alabama Crimson Tide RB, Glen Coffee took Gore’s place and rushed for 54 yards on 25 carries against the stout Minnesota Viking defensive line led by Pat Williams, Kevin Williams, and Jared Allen. The Vikings will try to improve to “Favre and O” against the Packers on Monday night. Favre might look across the way at Greg Jennings and Donald Driver and wish he was back in Green Bay. Or he might turn around and see Adrian Peterson and feel really good about being old in Minnesota, in the dome, where it is warm in December.

Joining the Jets and Vikings in the ranks of the undefeated are the New York Giants and Eli Manning, the New Orleans Saints and Drew Brees, the Baltimore Ravens and Joe Flacco, the Indianapolis Colts and Peyton Manning, and Denver Broncos and John Elway… err Bubby Brister? Nope. Kyle Orton is 3-0, Denver!

Looking to week four, New York Jets shutdown cornerback Darrelle Revis has a huge challenge in front of him as he goes against Drew Brees’ high flying New Orleans Saints offense. Isaac Bruce will face his former team when the Rams and 49ers square off. Terrell Owens will try to start a new streak of consecutive games with a catch when Buffalo goes to Miami. TO’s record setting streak of 185 consecutive games with a catch was snapped on Sunday. Brett Favre will square off against the Green Bay Packers for the first time since leaving the team for retirement, before coming back and signing with the Jets, retiring, and then coming back again this year with the Vikings. Hopefully for the Vikings his muscle memory does not kick in when he sees a wide open green and gold clad Nick Barnett. That game is on Monday night and is expect to attract an enormous audience. If the Vikings lose, nobody in Minnesota or Wisconsin will be happy on Tuesday. I wonder what kind of questions the media will serve up to Aaron Rodgers all week…

In fantasy leagues, if you own Matt Ryan, Michael Turner, Larry Fitzgerald, Kurt Warner, DeAngelo Williams, Steve Smith, Brian Westbrook, or Donovan McNabb, you’ll want to sit them this week. Their teams have the first bye week of the season.

Item of the week is this classic top seller. Support your alma mater, your favorite NFL player’s former stomping grounds, or just get a great looking long sleeve tee for the fall.

Week 2 showed us once again that parity in the league is back in full force and that as many have begun to notice, perhaps home field advantage isn’t all it was once cracked up to be. Cinci went into Green Bay and won, New Orleans beat Philly, the Cardinals beat up on Jacksonville and Oakland went into Arrowhead to beat the Chiefs. So many great games around the league, let’s start with the one that nearly moved me to tears…

Pressure Cooker

Tom Brady and the New England Patriots went into the Meadowlands this weekend and looked to make it 9 in a row against an up and coming Jets team. Brady was pressured all day by Rex Ryan’s new defense led by Bart Scott, David Harris and a Darrelle Revis who is starting to get that Champ Bailey circa 2003 reputation, which is at once, exciting and a little worrisome. The Jets hadn’t beaten the Patriots in Jersey since the Regan administration, so this was a huge win. I remember when I was like 20 and my 15 year old brother tackled me in some stupid game in the snow. My first thought was, “I think I’ve lacerated my spleen.” My second thought was, “how has a child done this to me?” That’s what the Pats are feeling this week. Vegas had the over/under for Jets wins at 7 prior to the season. I’m sort of wishing I had placed a bet right now. Wait, wait! I take it all back. The Jets are mediocre at best. UNJINX, UNJINX!

Last Minute Cutler

After a week of listening to Chicago sports radio personalities slow roast Jay Cutler over a fire, the new kid in town responded with a game winning drive against the Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers. Gone were the errant throws that found their way into opposing hands as Cutler, Greg Olsen and Devin Hester did just enough to keep the score close. Steelers surefire kicker and offseason Wildman, Jeff Reed, missed two crucial field goals, and the Bears were able to eek out a major victory over the champs. Following a 1-1 opening, the Bears schedule really becomes favorable with upcoming games @ Seattle, vs Detroit, @ Atlanta, @ Cincinnati, and home again for Cleveland. Those are all winnable games and Cutler may arrive back in Chicago in November with a rare smile on his often pouty face. Things are looking up for the Bears.

Manningness

Eli and Peyton were both able to secure wins as the Giants went into Cowboys‘ Xanadu and won late the Colts followed suit with a victory of their own in Miami. It’s sort of silly really, when you think about it. What other family has taken over a profession as concretely as the Mannings have taken over NFL Quarterback? Sure, the Staab’s, are the kings of car batteries, but who is to say they are better than any other 12 volt expert in Idaho? The Mannings on the other hand, have dominated professional quarterbacking over multiple generations. It gets overhyped to the point of annoyance, but to have a NFL QB sire two NFL QBs—one of whom is a lock for the Hall of Fame—reads like some poorly conceived sitcom. Go Mannings! The NFL and everyone in Indy and the greater New York area is rooting for you to meet in the Super Bowl until one of you retires.

And Introducing Chris Johnson as…Predator

Attention League: Chris Johnson is very fast and extremely elusive….Although Matt Schaub and the Houston attack led by Andre Johnson and Owen Daniels was able to overcome Chris Johnson’s fantasy record day—in our league he scored like 51 points—the young back from ECU reminded everyone that while he may resemble Aaaanold’s nemesis from the 1987 classic, he is not to be trifled with. I’m not going to look up the numbers, because frankly it’s depressing, but he had something like 200 yards rushing and another 100 receiving to go along with 3 combined touchdowns. Johnson and the Titans head into Jersey to play the Jets this weekend, and I hope the Jets have seen the John McTeirnan motion picture recently, because as everyone knows…”If it bleeds, we can kill it,” which in NFL speak translates to, “Put Your Fastest Linebacker On This Guy At All Times.”

Ravens are Funny

Here are my top 3 moments concerning ravens…this is the only Raven I knew when I was 13 (it’s better in Spanish), this is probably the greatest imitation of a raven captured on film and the video below is of an old bird performing the mating ritual of the Eastern Seaboard Raven. The best part is right around 2:45 if you want to skip ahead.

Other than that, I don’t know much about the Ravens besides the fact that they’re still the good old Cleveland Browns to me. I know a lot of people from Cleveland, and I bet they wish they could have the Ravens back home, wearing the brown and orange again. Anyways, the Ravens are soaring again, with that punishing defense led by Ray Lewis but more surprisingly, with an actual functioning offense directed by second year QB and former Delaware Dove, Eagle, or whatever arial creature–Blue Hen…excuse me Delawareans, Joe Flacco, the flock decended on San Diego and had their way with the Bolts. Flacco throws the deep ball like Carson Palmer used to—hopefully for Baltimore fans, his career will take a different path—and scatback Ray Rice gives defenses pause about bringing a blitz.. The Ravens have a decent schedule coming up, facing stepbrother Cleveland and perennial underdog Cincinnati 4 times in the next 7 games, this team could easily be sitting pretty in the AFC North come Thanksgiving.

Pantsless Coach Looking Sharp

San Francisco coach and former Bears Hall of Fame Linebacker Mike Singletary is a serious man. So serious, that in order to illustrate different football motifs to his team, he feels it necessary to remove his pants during halftime speeches. And you know what? It’s working out there. The Niners haven’t really been good since Steve Young left the field for the booth, but Singletary, running back Frank Gore, and a stout defense captained by the terrifying Patrick Willis—just ask Brad Smith—but this might be the start of something again. The NFC west is nothing special this year and there is no reason to believe the 49ers can’t compete for the division.

We’ve got week 3 right around the corner. The baseball playoff races are finally starting to shape up. October is going to be a crazy month around here. Stay tuned.

Item of the week is any of these Gridiron Classics. Pick one up and look sharp on Sunday’s all season long.

God Bless America, football is finally BACK! Each season it seems like the layoff was a little longer than last year, but the Men of Winter (that’s the opposite of Boys of Summer, right?) took the field and here we go again. Week 1 was a torrid affair…let’s take a look around the league for the highlights of the week’s best games and performances.

Donovan McNabb vs. A Late Hit

Donovan McNabb has been through a lot in Philly. Mercilessly booed before he even had a chance to put that Eagles cap on his head on Draft Day in 1999, he’s also had to deal with Rush Limbaugh’s 15 minutes as an analyst on Monday Night Football. He’s had TO and the tears and shouting and driveway sit-ups that come along with that horror show. He’s dealt with Iggle’s fan’s calling for his unseating countless times. He’s had to deal with the addition of Mike Vick. Most of all he’s had to deal with 4 NFC Championship losses plus losing Super Bowl XXXIX. And this past Sunday, he had to deal with a broken rib or two caused by a late him from Carolina Panthers defenders. I don’t know what a broken rib feels like, but I would guess it feels like constantly getting the wind kicked out of you. Which is probably how Donovan would describe his time in Philly anyways. Good luck Philly fans. If Donovan can make it back before Vick’s week 3 banishment, all might still end well. If not…oh brother.

Jay Cutler and Jake Delhomme vs. Their Own Right Arms

Stop! Don’t…UGH! DON’T THROW IT THERE!!! CAN YOU HEAR ME!?!?!? This is the basic mantra of Chicago Bears and Carolina Panthers fan’s this past weekend. Cutler, in his defense, is in a new offense following his quiet departure from Denver and working with slightly inferior receivers this time around. Delhomme on the other hand, was recently given a 42 million dollar extension, which he apparently thought was 1 million for every interception he could successfully complete. Last year’s season ended with 5…count ‘em FIVE…interceptions in the Panther’s home playoff loss to Arizona. His four to start this season will have Carolina fans standing next to the television with a baseball bat during next weeks game against Atlanta.

Mark Sanchez vs. 2 counts of non-aggravated stalking against this writer

If my soon to be good friend Mark Sanchez keeps this up, I’m moving to New York to start a project where I procure a copy of the greater Manhattan phone book, flip to the S’s, and just start knocking on doors until I find him. Yeah, I said it. The kid looked great. He moved well in the pocket, he looked down field, he was able to go through his progressions and he didn’t for a second show that deer in the headlights gaze that most rookies get. He may very well struggle at some or even many points throughout the season, but on the road in his first career game where the Jets were moderate underdogs to an offensively potent Houston team, I don’t think fans could have asked for much more.

Adrian Peterson vs. the Cleveland Browns Equipment Manager

Adrian Peterson is a man. A man who is sickened at the thought of you putting your hands on him. To prevent you from doing so, he will rip your jersey, tear off your facemask, and perhaps bust your helmet. Look at this video.

If you listen closely you can here Peterson tell Browns cornerback Eric Wright, “Unhand me you scoundrel…this jersey is brand new, and I won’t see it sullied this afternoon!” If you see the Vikings lead runner coming at you this season, you’d be best following the advice of our National Poet Laureate Runner Up, Ludacris and “Move…person! Get out the way.”

Tony Romo vs. What Used to Be Called the Tampa 2

They might want to change it to the Tampa 1 3/8 after Romo and the Cowboys torched the Tampa sky this weekend. Romo hit new receiver Roy Williams, cagey vet Patrick Crayton and speedster Miles Austin on deep TD passes for a career high 353 yards to go along with his 3 touchdowns. If Dallas can continue their aerial attack next weekend when the host the Giants, it should be an exciting showdown as the Cowboys open their new 9.575 trillion dollar stadium. My buddy works for the Cowboys and he tells me that the seats at the new stadium are covered in premium, full grade, grass raised gazelle hides for a soft comfort than cannot be matched.

See, you would believe anything about this place!

Cincinnati Bengals vs. Fate

A lot of my family lives in Cincinnati. They love the Bengals. They love Carson. They loved TJ when he was there. They usually like Chad. But this team has been on the wrong end of the karmic scale for I don’t know how long now. At one point in the 80’s, they must have run some old lady off the road while the team bus was travelling to Pittsburgh because seemingly nothing has gone right in the last 20 plus years. Sunday’s last second, deflected pass was yet another thick spoonful of failure for Bengals fan’s to swallow. Kyle Orton was throwing Chad Pennington-esque helium filled balloons out there all afternoon and the much improved Bengals D was holding their own. Carson Palmer drove them down the field for a game winning drive. Then with 38 seconds left, Orton uncorked another floater intended for “trying his best” Brandon Marshall, that miraculously ended up in Brandon Stokely’s hands as he ran down to the 1 yard line and pulled every Madden Football players favorite move—lean over the end zone to shave time off the clock—as the Broncos snatched an opening day win and got on the plane home before the officials could change their minds. It could be another long year in Cincy if this team isn’t ever going to catch a break.

Tom Brady vs. His Knee Brace

The Patriots ran up against the Bills with both teams wearing their AFL 50th Anniversary Jerseys last night—am I wrong, or should most teams scrap their most recent versions and all revert back to the old school uni’s?—and we got to see the Golden Boy back in action for the first time in more than a year. Following a devastating hit to his left knee in the opening quarter of last season, Brady came back to embark on another 50 touchdown season…He looked rusty. He looked tentative. But eventually, he just looked like Tom Brady, as he led the team to two scoring drives in less than two minutes to rally back and steal a win at home. As a Jets fan, it sort of makes me sick to admit this, but I’m glad he’s back. Football needs Tom Terrific, like baseball needs Jeter, like basketball needs Kobe, like hockey needs some Scandanavian guy. Whether you like them or not, it’s just not the same without them.

Item of the week is any of these classic throwback hoodies. The Tampa Bay one is a heavenly shade of peach, no?